While long-term, exclusive relationships can meet our emotional needs, they come with their own costs. Sometimes it’s more practical to skip the romance and agree upon a strictly physical arrangement. Friends With Benefits, F-buddies and No-Strings-Attached, whatever the title, here’s how to keep casual arrangements from falling apart.
Kicking off a new situation-ship can be a lot of fun, but sooner or later you will have to have an honest discussion about what you are both seeking from it. I opt for having that discussion SOONER. Lay out the ground rules; every dynamic will be different but they usually have a few things in common.
We Are Not Exclusive
There is nothing stopping you from seeing others and the same goes for me. In most cases, I don’t care or want to know about them and I probably won’t want to talk about my other hook ups. If you get serious about someone else, just let me know the deal is off. No hard feelings when the arrangement changes or ends!
When & Where
Depending on the circumstances, we might make some rules about when and where we get dirty. For example, we can hang out with a mutual friend together but we won’t be catching up with each other unless it’s to get freaky. Nothing even resembling a date. You can have those boundaries too! Maybe your place is off-limits because it means meeting your cat, and hey, that’s just way too personal for a no-strings-attached.
This Is Not A Movie
It’s a classic gag; two people become casual friends with benefits and before long, one of them catches feelings. These rules exist to stop that from happening so if you start getting butterflies, take a step back before you find yourself head over heels. This arrangement falls apart if you forget the basic premises; no strings attached!
Don’t Be Weird About It
For whatever reason, this will end and chances are we’ll still be in the same social circles. Don’t overthink things or make them messy. If you have things you want to talk about, we can talk! We are still friends, with or without the benefits.
Good sex can be hard to come by, and you don’t have to date exclusively to make the most of a good roll in the sheets! Be honest with yourself and your F-buddy, and you might just be able to pull off a no-strings-attached deal.