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Euphemisms, or terms used in place of other words, and slang are a key part of how we talk about all things intimate. While vagina and penis are the ‘proper’ terms, they feel awkward when talking casually compared to pussy and dick. Every language and time period has its own words to describe body parts, sex acts and types of people. Sometimes we hold on to those words for centuries, but sometimes old slang sounds bizarre and downright comical! 

The following are made available by The Project Gutenberg publication of The 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue, originally by Francis Grose.

Doing The Deed

There are infinite ways to describe the horizontal tango; like knocking boots or getting laid. At the turn of the 19th century, you could have a brush with a beautiful woman, or relish her. If it was a quickie, you would take a flourish, and if you decided to have a mostly clothed romp outside of the bedroom, you would be taking a flyer. 

Sugar Sticks & Bubbies

Slang terms for body parts are also common and change constantly. What we call boobs, titties and ta-tas, were once called diddeys, bubbies and a woman’s apple dumplin’ shop. A busty woman could be called a bushel bubby! As for pussy, the words quim and madge were popular euphemisms.

Don’t worry, dicks were not forgotten! Cocks were described as deliciously naughty sugar sticks and if you were a shower, not a grower, you might be described as having a lobcock. One of the wittier phrases was the silent flute.

People

Not all parts of language change though; this 18th-century text still described well-endowed blokes as well-hung. Also, while gold digger usually refers to a young woman and a rich man, the term fortune hunter was reserved for men who were seeking wealthy wives!

There are also many terms for promiscuous ladies, sex workers and women in general, though some aren’t as kind as others. Dirty puzzle is defined as “a nasty slut” which has definitely appeared in more than a few XXX video titles. A few highlights include quean, trollop and strumpet all referring to lusty babes, plus harlot of course!

Language is constantly changing and as new words emerge, the old ones can fade away. It’s amusing to imagine using those words today since they seem so foreign to us. If you fancy taking a flourish of your own, check out the available babes here!

Available in a range of sizes and flavoured, coloured and textured for your pleasure! Condoms are an essential part of a healthy sex life! They remain the only form of contraception that reduces the risk of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. They weren’t always so fancy though!

Just The Tip

While modern condoms are stocked in a range of sizes, there was a period of time when doctors were responsible for measuring and ordering custom fits! These made-to-measure prophylactics were ‘glans only’ but didn’t offer complete protection and had a tendency to fall off during use. Some earlier records indicate glans condoms were used in Japan and Italy too but they faced the same issues.

Sick Sea Men

In 1494, thriving naval fleets and nautical trade routes contributed to an international outbreak of STIs, namely, syphilis. The symptomatic pustules contributed to the deaths of many people across Europe and by 1505, large parts of Asia. Doctors and physicians across the world began an effort to popularise the use of condoms to reduce the risk of transmission. This led to efforts to make condoms more affordable. Since they were hand-crafted at the time, condoms were largely reserved for the upper classes due to the cost. 

Rubbers Weren’t Always Made Of Rubber

Before the mid-1800s, condoms were made from a range of materials and their comfort level varied too. 14th century England they were made of animal tissue, sometimes the bladder or intestines. While it seems bizarre now, gloves had been made out of treated intestines since the 1200s.

In Japan, condoms were made of tortoise shells or animal horns; talk about being horny! The Dutch began trading in condoms made of “fine leather” and the Italians experimented with linen condoms that were secured with a ribbon. If you could afford the luxury (and didn’t mind the sticky texture), some were even lined with velvet or silk!

While rubber condoms were first developed in 1855, they still had a lengthwise seam and were about 2mm thick. It wasn’t until 1912 that Julius Fromm dipped a glass bulb into liquid rubber to create the seamless design we all recognise today! Fromm also created condom vending machines!

Like many things, condoms have gone through countless iterations. From bulky linen and animal horn to the seamless, lightweight and sometimes flavoured versions available from corner stores and sexual health clinics today. The development of the modern condom has been essential in helping humanity make the most of their time between the sheets.

Sex and songs go so well together! So many songs are about sex and a good playlist can really enhance a night between the sheets! With a mix of genres, eras and artists, feel free to take some inspiration from my sex playlist favourites!

Slide by H.E.R. is a laidback R&B jam with a feature from American rapper YG. It may not be the accompaniment to a ‘grand finale’ moment, but it is an excellent ‘taking your time’ vibe. With the atmosphere from the rhythmic synth and H.E.R.’s gentle, soulful vocals, this piece is definitely worth listening to.

H.E.R. is an African American singer, songwriter and composer who has won several awards for her music. She creates a beautiful blend of R&B, hip-hop and soul. Slide was released in 2019 and has been nominated for a range of awards. It also won a BMI R&B/Hip-Hop Award in 2021. 

The introduction of Slide is YG describing H.E.R. and sets the scene for an empowered female figure to be the main character of this piece. H.E.R. sings the majority of the song and describes hanging out with a gentleman in a fancy car. The lyrics suggest treating yourself and living the highlife but without worrying about what others might say. The question repeated throughout, “when we goin’ slide?” suggests that she wants to spend more time with her companion and is interested in seeing where things go. It’s curious, playful and definitely sultry, and brings those qualities to life with the catchy melody and beat.

The featured verse from YG is one of my favourite rap features since it complements and balances H.E.R.s vocals & style so well. It opens with “I need a bae-cation” which is just adorable. ‘Bitch’ can be positive or negative but the next line always makes me giggle; “I need my bitch in an apron, booty all out cookin’ bacon.” It’s cute, suggestive and helps remind listeners to have some genuine fun even when things are getting steamy.

There’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ when it comes to what songs should be in your sex playlist. What really matters is how it makes you feel; sexy, confident, seductive or just straight-up horny! If you feel like trying out a few songs with someone, check out the babes available here!