While most people know that BDSM is associated with kinks & fetishes, the actual letters of themselves often go overlooked. BDSM is an acronym, but some of the letters double to include more than one word. It stands for Bondage, Discipline, Domination, Submission, Sadism, Masochism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bondage can refer to all sorts of restraints, but some popular favourites include shibari\/ropes, silk ties or handcuffs (bonus points if they are fluffy!). Ropes, cuffs, straps or chains can be exciting for the person doing the restraining and the one being restrained but it’s an exercise in trust too. Bondage and restraints are often reserved for established partners so don\u2019t be surprised if the escort you see would like to hold off on the chains for a while. As with all BDSM things, communication is paramount so check in with your partner frequently. Make sure they are still enjoying their time and that nothing is uncomfortable (or cramping!). There are plenty of online resources about how to achieve elaborate harnesses made of rope but sometimes the most fun is the spontaneous, make-shift restraints, like while we are undressing, taking off your suit tie to wrap my wrists together\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The tension of discipline relies on a power dynamic like a master and servant or teacher and naughty student. Discipline might mean punishments for breaking the agreed-upon rules or rewards for following orders. Again, communication is key so establish the ground rules before starting to give out orders. You could go old school with a wooden cane across my thighs, or reward me by letting me do what I like with you for a while. Sometimes discipline can be less about the pain of whips and paddles. There is plenty of inspiration online for \u201cfun-ishments\u201d instead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One of the core elements of BDSM is the power play of domination and submission. Sometimes it\u2019s subtle, there may be a sense of shared experiences rather than power. Other times that power play is at the core of the scene. The appeal of teacher-student or master-servant roleplays is the sense of domination that one has over the other. It\u2019s important to discuss things before diving into the fun though. Even the words we use in dirty talk aren\u2019t one-size-fits-all; would you rather I call you Sir or Master? And while calling me a good girl will make my heart skip a beat, my girlfriend would much rather be your dirty little slut, or we could take control and be your Mistresses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Last but not least is the combo deal of sadism and masochism. Sadism is the sexual arousal and gratification that comes with making others feel pain or humiliation. To complement sadism, masochism is when feeling pain or humiliation is what gets you off. Some people don\u2019t resonate with either term so their BDSM scenes might be different. They may focus on taboo role-play or mutual pleasure rather than impact play or degradation. For people interested in sadism & masochism, it can be very rewarding to start the intensity low and build slowly. Rather than starting with floggers, you could pinch me, bite me, and drag your nails across my skin first. Not everyone is so eager to experience all those sensations, so check in with your partner. I know plenty of people who would much rather see you squirm instead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n