While most people know that BDSM is associated with kinks & fetishes, the actual letters of themselves often go overlooked. BDSM is an acronym, but some of the letters double to include more than one word. It stands for Bondage, Discipline, Domination, Submission, Sadism, Masochism.

Bondage

Bondage can refer to all sorts of restraints, but some popular favourites include shibari/ropes, silk ties or handcuffs (bonus points if they are fluffy!). Ropes, cuffs, straps or chains can be exciting for the person doing the restraining and the one being restrained but it’s an exercise in trust too. Bondage and restraints are often reserved for established partners so don’t be surprised if the escort you see would like to hold off on the chains for a while. As with all BDSM things, communication is paramount so check in with your partner frequently. Make sure they are still enjoying their time and that nothing is uncomfortable (or cramping!). There are plenty of online resources about how to achieve elaborate harnesses made of rope but sometimes the most fun is the spontaneous, make-shift restraints, like while we are undressing, taking off your suit tie to wrap my wrists together…

Discipline

The tension of discipline relies on a power dynamic like a master and servant or teacher and naughty student. Discipline might mean punishments for breaking the agreed-upon rules or rewards for following orders. Again, communication is key so establish the ground rules before starting to give out orders. You could go old school with a wooden cane across my thighs, or reward me by letting me do what I like with you for a while. Sometimes discipline can be less about the pain of whips and paddles. There is plenty of inspiration online for “fun-ishments” instead.

Domination & Submission

One of the core elements of BDSM is the power play of domination and submission. Sometimes it’s subtle, there may be a sense of shared experiences rather than power. Other times that power play is at the core of the scene. The appeal of teacher-student or master-servant roleplays is the sense of domination that one has over the other. It’s important to discuss things before diving into the fun though. Even the words we use in dirty talk aren’t one-size-fits-all; would you rather I call you Sir or Master? And while calling me a good girl will make my heart skip a beat, my girlfriend would much rather be your dirty little slut, or we could take control and be your Mistresses.

Sadism & Masochism

Last but not least is the combo deal of sadism and masochism. Sadism is the sexual arousal and gratification that comes with making others feel pain or humiliation. To complement sadism, masochism is when feeling pain or humiliation is what gets you off. Some people don’t resonate with either term so their BDSM scenes might be different. They may focus on taboo role-play or mutual pleasure rather than impact play or degradation. For people interested in sadism & masochism, it can be very rewarding to start the intensity low and build slowly. Rather than starting with floggers, you could pinch me, bite me, and drag your nails across my skin first. Not everyone is so eager to experience all those sensations, so check in with your partner. I know plenty of people who would much rather see you squirm instead.

Given how important communication is in all aspects of BDSM, you should always make sure you set aside some time to talk before your booking. We want to make your wildest dreams come true but unexpected bites or insults are definitely not going to make a positive impression. Be upfront about what you are after and we can point you in the direction of escorts who share the same naughty interests. Whether you are looking for an obedient little pet, a latex-clad mistress or anything in between, check out the escorts who enjoy the darker side of pleasure here.

Whether you’re a literal pro in the bedroom or are new to exploring the world of sexual pleasures, there’s no harm in brushing up on a few tips and tricks. While every partner is unique, if you are getting down & dirty with men, there are a few things you might want to know.

Enthusiasm

It can be nice to sit back and enjoy being a pillow princess, but guys want to be able to lay back and enjoy the attention too. Try adding a little enthusiasm to your sex life, whether it’s initiating the intimacy to start with or playing a more active part in it.

Additionally, while things like deepthroat are on nearly every man’s sexual bucket list, you don’t have to overcome your gag reflex to make him happy! An enthusiastic, messy, sloppy bj will definitely have him feeling like a porn star.

Dirty Talk

It doesn’t have to be crazy kinky but there are plenty of ways to use your words in the bedroom! If he’s doing something right, “yes, like that” or any other positive reinforcement will make him feel good and keep him on track to making you feel good too.

When he could be doing something better, take the opportunity to lock eyes and whisper “I want it like this,” and show him how you like it.

If there’s even a subtle power dynamic at play, putting on a pout and asking for things with a “please” is sure to make his heart skip a beat.

Of course, there is an infinite selection of phrases & pet names that can intensify things further and you can ask your partner what they want to hear in bed!

Kinks

There is an infinite number of kinks and fetishes, and across the years you are likely to hear plenty of unexpected ones! If a partner trusts you enough to disclose an unconventional bedroom request, then do your best to respect their honesty. If it’s something you aren’t open to, then let him know but thank him for his honesty. Communication doesn’t always result in compromise, but it’s important to make sure that everyone is comfortable talking about things. 

At the end of the day, asking your partner directly is the easiest way to figure out what they are after. Don’t be afraid to make the first move or to let your wild side show, most guys love seeing you enjoy yourself. If you have your own kinky fantasies, you should tell him and be prepared to hear about his too! So next time things are getting steamy, go all in and show him how much you enjoy him, I promise he will appreciate it.