Putting on a good performance in the bedroom can be daunting, and some rather unrealistic expectations can get in the way of a good time. While you shouldn’t feel pressured to be some kind of sex god, there’s no harm in taking a few tips if you feel like improving! 

The Basics

Despite how common the following tips may be, there are a few basics that people always seem to forget. Firstly, no matter how awkward you might feel, asking for consent is always a turn-on. In some power dynamics or roleplay scenes, asking for permission comes quite naturally since it is paired with a title like Sir or Miss. When in more vanilla atmospheres, a simple gesture and “May I?” can work wonders.

Secondly, safe sex is good sex, so take the initiative and reach for the condoms first! It’s a relief to know that your partner is on the same page about protection. The same goes for dental dams which are used during rimming or when going down on a lady.

Thirdly, slow things down. This applies to the lead-up and during intercourse. Foreplay, and even just sharing an intimate embrace beforehand, can make the experience so much more memorable. Taking things slower can help build up pleasure for everyone involved before the finale.

With the basics out of the way, let’s get into the nitty-gritty!

Pussy Play & Fingering

Fingering is frequently remembered as a vital part of adolescent exploration, but it doesn’t have to be left in our teenage years. Mutual masturbation is a great addition to your foreplay repertoire. As with many things, less is often more in fingering, both literally and in the movements used. It’s easier to build up in intensity than it is to apologise for causing discomfort. Watching your partner please themselves and then copying that is one of the best ways to make sure they get what they like and how they like it.

Dinner At The Y

Whether you call it ‘going down,’ ‘eating out’ or any number of other nicknames, cunnilingus is one of the most popular methods of helping female partners reach the big O. There are millions of methods available, from writing the alphabet, spelling your name to tracing shapes with your tongue. However, no single strategy will work for everyone! It’s great if you have a go-to that usually works, but be willing to listen and adapt if it doesn’t work for this partner. If you don’t know where to start, ask your partner what they like and try to follow their instructions. Being willing and able to learn and customise your technique for each partner is a great skill.

Exploring Their Body

The term ‘erogenous zone’ is among the least sexy phrases in this article, but its meaning is important. Erogenous zones are places on the body that are sensitive to touch and may be stimulated to help set the mood. For example, one partner may get shivers down their spine when their earlobe is gently nibbled, while another gets goosebumps during foot rubs. Little things like that can take intimacy to a whole new level. 

If you enjoy learning how to make someone gasp and moan, then I hope this article helps you achieve that. If you would rather all of the focus be on your own pleasure, then Harlots has an abundance of stunning babes determined to make you feel like a king. We all appreciate the value of absolute pleasure and going above and beyond to make your fantasies a reality brings us the utmost pleasure.

When you’re ready to put what you’ve learnt into practice, check out our roster and make a booking. 

There are a few unspoken agreements in the ladies’ bathroom, particularly at clubs; everyone looks stunning, no one should go to the bathroom alone and never, ever let someone text their ex. Most men underestimate the comradery we girls find as we touch up our makeup in the speckled mirror.

I went out on the town the day after a messy break-up. Long story short, myself and another lady learned we had been dating the same guy. He hooked up with yet another girl and she realised he was in not one, but two relationships. I didn’t know who else he had been two-timing, and I was just looking for a distraction. It was while I rinsed the taste of cheap whiskey out of my mouth that I heard someone crying. Of course, Girl Code means I have to check in on them. For the sake of this story, let’s call her Annie.

We had a few mutual friends, so she wasn’t a complete stranger. I invited her out to a booth in the club and we talked. Through hiccups, she told me how she risked her job dating a guy who then cheated. Even with her mascara running down her cheek, she was captivating. She was so sweet and pretty. I empathised with her and told her how angry I was at my ex too. I wish I had put the pieces together sooner but it took us quite a while before we realised we were talking about the same guy. Fuelled by emotion (and whatever that charming blue cocktail was), it wasn’t long before Annie’s mascara was smudged against my face too.

There are few things as passionate as mutual heartache and we spent the night proving we didn’t need him. I’ll never forget the way she leaned into me and whispered “You’re so much better than him” as I felt her quiver beneath my fingertips.

Joyce’s fondness for description and details leaves very little of these intimate moments to the imagination. His erotic letters to his wife Nora Barnacle were certainly never written for anyone else’s eyes. After their deaths, award-winning biographer Richard Ellmann published some of their correspondence. While the ethics of publishing personal letters is widely debated, there are few examples of such writings in history, which makes these invaluable.

Joyce’s Letters

Amidst words that could make anyone blush are sweet phrases of tenderness;

“I love your body, long for it, dream of it”

“A hundred thousand kisses, darling!

However, it is hardly the romance that makes these letters so notable. Instead, the boldness of the language sets them apart. Not only is it explicit and graphic, but the language itself is intriguing. Dated around 1909, the colloquial terms that Joyce uses to refer to various aspects of intimacy are now outdated. The term “frig,” for example, now stands in for a somewhat censored expletive but once meant ‘to masturbate’ or finger. It wasn’t just foreplay that got a vocabulary update.

Joyce writes “I was the first man that blocked you,” and to a modern reader, it suggests a falling out on social media. What it meant though, was sex and that he was her first partner in bed. It is interesting to see how language regarding sex has shifted over time.

Not everything has changed with time, though. Joyce opens up about the effect of all this erotic correspondence had:

I have done so much and so often that I am afraid to look to see how that thing I had is after all I have done to myself,” which is a sentiment many lustful men have felt.

The Replies

While Nora’s replies to these letters have never been published, it’s clear that her thirst for passion matched her husband’s. Joyce reflects “Tired of lying under a man one night you tore off your chemise violently and began to ride me up and down.”

While there are plenty of private messages I would rather not have resurface, there is a certain comforting relatability to these old letters. Throughout time, people have shared their most intimate thoughts through whatever medium was available to them. Their “wild filth and obscenity” is an integral part of human sexuality. Though I must admit, I much prefer the convenience of an instant message to the days, weeks or months between letters.